SUNDAY
We arrive in Kefalonia just before lunch after a flight on a rather ghetto Monarch flight. We pick up our car from a company which operates out of a shack in a backyard complete with a dog caked in mud who was rather too friendly for his own good considering that he was chained to a dead olive tree. Our villa wasn't too far from the airport but the roads are rather narrow and winding. With only a 1.2 engine and I people in the back with luggage our hire car really struggled. We arrived at the villa which is very modern inside and having your own bathroom and wet room was really handy. Having no food or drink during our 3 hour flight, we took a short drive to pick up some provisions that were intended to last a few days. They were pretty much gone by the morning.
The afternoon was spent sunbathing and swimming in our small but private pool. It was so relaxing and quite with only occasional interruptions from the clanging of some scraggy sheep next door and my dad telling me I'd had ten minutes and was going to get sunburnt.
We had dinner in a place we'd passed on the way down to the beach called Lorraine's Magic Hill Restaurant. This family run business owns a farm and claims it's produce is homegrown. My dad and I have a thick but delicious sea food bisque followed by oven roast suckling pig so we get a Sunday lunch after all! Mum and Leonie have goat. All of this is washed down with a litre of rose and red wine. 
Our dinner is observed by a llama looking over the wall of the field next door. I suspect he was just glad he was not on the menu.
We walked back up the hill to our villa which was a lot more difficult after a meal and travelling in the other direction and, having got quite hot and bothered, had a late night swim in the pool once again accompanied by the sheep clanging away. I decided that if I write a piece of music about the island it should open or close with that definitive sound.We woke up later than planned but had been advised that our tour guide Luis would be arriving at 10:30am to introduce us to the island.
I managed to get in some sun-worshipping in before a lady from the tourist agency came to take our passport details and, luckily, not our passports. Even that early in the morning the sun is still pretty hot. Luis arrived and talked us through the various attractions at Kefalonia. Most are linked to 3 main roads heading north, east or west from our villa. This makes it easy to plan what we are going to each day.
Low on supplies we decided we would visit Agastoli, the capitol of th island, as most of the large supermarkets are on the road leading into the town. These supermarkets are really no larger than a standard sized one in a uk town but it is clear that most greek people use smaller local shop for every day use. Agostoli is a beautiful seaside town with a good mixture of shops and restaurants. We parked up and walked along the marina where the local fishermen sell fresh fish.
To our delight there were too large sea turtles swimming around the boats. As they periodically stuck their heads out of the water to breathe we got a glimpse of just how beautiful these creatures are. 
We had some cappuchino fredos in basket chairs in the street narrowly avoiding sketchy guy with is stack of dvds and cds (no city is complete without one!) and returned to our car picking up some biscuits and freshly ground coffee. On the way out of the city we stopped at a small bay for a paddle.
Kefalonia is full of these bays and beaches and the island, although a major tourist centre is unspoilt enough by them that you can have these places to yourself. A short walk away was St Thomas' lighthouse. Anywhere you go on the island where there are trees or vegetation you hear this rhythmic buzzing and cracking noise. Dad says that these are beetles or crickets. I decided that this would definitely be added to the sonic scrapbook for my Kefalonia. The only way I can think of replicating this is to use a few vibraslaps and a guiro. 
We passed through Lassi and Leonie saw the diving company she wanted to use so Mum and I walked down to the beach while she used the car with dad to go back.The beach was wonderfully sandy and the water very clear. The salt was very strong too which hurt your eyes after a while but did leave your hair and skin feeling good. I felt like a surfer dude and was enjoying my new trunks.
After the beach we did our supermarket shopping and returned home for beer and snacks. I bought some pesto crisps which were yum especially with tatziki. Our BBQ was not playing ball but the results were good enough that I felt really full afterwards and was in bed by 10pm.
TUESDAY
Our previous meal having been accompanied by two local muts trying to shag other by the pool (at least someone's getting some), tuesday's breakfast was spent with an invasion of local kittens. Kefalonian people seem to have a very free and easy attitude towards their pets. All looking very similar we concluded that the kittens were probably from a single litter.
We headed north to Fiskardo, a small tourist fishing village but road over the hills are ridiculously treacherous. Leonie did a great job of sticking to the narrow roads that zigzag with adverse cambers. The locals give you no margin for error and neither do the steep cliffs. A lot of people on the island use mopeds and small motorbikes to get around. This seems practical but also adds to the local soundscape which I must remember for my composition. Expect some brass flutter-tonguing to mimic the engines of these vehicles.
The bay is beautiful in the sunlight with affluent yachts moored while their owners snorkel or eat on the many waterside taverners. We had a wonder along the waterfront and walked down some backstreets further round the bay. We returned to the main part of the town to eat in a family run restaurant on the square. After a litre of wine and a lot of sun I was feeling worse for wear but we continued walking along the marina and had some icecream which a colleague from work said was a must.
We passed a restaurant which promised that the grandmother of the family would be called upon to jump from the top of a nearby mountain into a wet sponge. Either something was lost in translation or they were rather ambitious with their marketing strategy!
We went to Aios which has a hilltop fort. The paved walkway was a good workout but the ruins at the top provided only good views as the fort had almost been completely destroyed.
In the late afternoon we went to Mertos beach. The water of the sea had caught the sun all day and was warm but the waves were rather massive and you really felt pulled around despite being a strong swimmer. The beach was lined with creamy smooth pebbles but walking on them was really painful which meant you had to stay permanently out of your depth.
We were home by 8.30 and so decided to eat in other of Lourdas' recommended restaurants. This one was chavliscious but the food was cheap and homely. The walk back up the hill was hot, sticky and tiring so I had a quick swim in the pool again before bed.
WEDNESDAY
We woke up late (or at least I did) which seemed to be a developing theme of the holiday. Today's road trip took us towards Sami. We first stopped at the fort of St George which is in ruins. A reconstruction map at the gatehouse showed it to be a substantial structure in it's day with a chapel and two churches as well as a large shell pit. They clearly needed a lot of shells for something! Mum and Dad delighted themselves by going down some tunnels but I passed as I thought they looked pretty skanky and apparently I was right. The fort provided some good views of the island.
On the way to Sami we stopped at the church of St Gerisimo, who is the patron saint of Kefalonia. The church was, from the outside was very beautiful, large and locked but we had been warned by Luis that this would be the case. What we had been told was that behind the church was a monastery that was open to the public. Outside the girls put on some rather skanky free clothes (complete with stains) to go into the chapel.
Inside it was undergoing some serious renovations so the entire ceiling fresco was covered by scaffolding providing only a glimpse of the finished product as workmen worked away overhead. We didn't stay long as we weren't too thrilled by the chandelier swinging threatening above us and there really was not much to see beyond a trip down a vertical ladder into the catacombs which was only big enough for one person at a time.
Close by was one of the 3 vineyards on the island called The Robola Coooperative. Here, led by a lancashire expert, we sampled some of the cheaper wines of the region. Apparently they don't taste the more expensive ones but are more than happy to tell you it will be ten times better than the one you're drinking. Of course you won't know until you have parted with your hard earned cash. The wine guy was determined to help my mum to 
taste the vanilla and cinnamon in the wine through extensive instructions but she wasn't up for being coerced. Personally I was on the verge of saying 'I'm not getting the cinnamon but I'm definitely getting the paint stripper'. There was really nothing else to do at the vinyard other than buy stuff which Leonie and Dad did. There was a cool shop area and nice paintings on the wall of women with their boobs hanging out.
At Sami we had lunch at a riverside restaurant and were so taken by a little bay that we decided to stay there for the afternoon. The water was so warm and the beach really peaceful except for when a local ferry passed sending massive waves ashore which really threw you to the beach and then dragged you out again. We were also interrupted by some greek boys who decided to take a whizz from the bank above us. Much laughing ensued when they realised the beach wasn't deserted!
On our way home we took a route that would take us to Aios which is the highest point in Kefalonia. It's not possible to get to the very top without going on a dirt track for the last stretch and our sense of self preservation kicked in and we pulled up to take in the views where the road stopped. Standing there in the middle of the national park it was completely silent with only the noise of the occasional bee or wasp passing. It really was so tranquil without any wind. It was great to be still.
In the evening we walked up the hill in Lourdas to a restaurant called La Mer which overlooked Argostoli and you could look far out to sea. It was pretty dark but the clustered lights of the capitol and boats in the bay were good enough as too was the spicy mediterranean chicken. Having walked uphill to get to the restaurant, the return journey was pretty easy except for the final stretch up to our villa as usual.
THURSDAY
Leonie had arranged to go diving in Lassi and so got up early and take the car. The rest of us decided to do one of the walks Luis had suggested that took us from Lourdas to St Thomas beach by walking along the coast. All started well until we hit stretches of beach inhabited by naked people. The nudists were generally united by their old age, sunburn and obesity. Hot they were not and I was rather tempted to tell them to put their clothes on. When in europe everyone expects a few boobs but I draw the line at some fat minger's sherbang or tallywacker.
Some light relief from this trauma was provided by a sandsculpture that someone had done of a crime scene complete with copse outline and police tape.
The walk took us just under two hours and so we stopped by a seafront taverner for some lunch. The restaurant canopy was covered with vines with massive bunches of grapes and my grilled chicken stuffed with mushrooms, tomatoes and olives was probably the best meal I had on the island. We joined Leonie who was waiting back at the villa for us. We had a lazy afternoon by the pool and then had beers and meze before a bbq which was more successful than the last. Leonie took inspiration from our meal in FisKardo and made chicken souvkali which is marinated in yogurt, parsley, olive oil and mustard. Having had about 5 beers by that point I decided it was time to take an early night.
FRIDAY
On Friday we were back on the tourist track visiting two of Kefalonia'S attractions. We stopped first at the Dragarati caves which are famous for the massive stalactites and stalagmites. The caves had great acoustics and sometimes has concerts in it too. I had never been somewhere with so many structures and seeing the different textures and colours was very interesting especially given how slowly they develop. Some of them date back 20,000 years.
We continued on to lake Melissani which was originally a completely underground lake until part of the roof of the cave around 1000 years ago. The water which comes from Argostoli is crystal clear and ranges in depth between 1 and 39 metres. We took a boat ride around the cave guided by a greek tour guide boatman who was the resident funny man but still managed to take some photos of us looking smoking hot. We shared our boat with other tourists including a young family who's todler was determined to throw their camera overboard and was very upsets when he wasn't allowed to do so.
By the time we got back to the mooring two coach loads had arrived to get on the boats and they were chastised by the boatmen for cluttering the gangway. We managed to escape before it all kicked off!
In an attempt to outrun the coach parties we drove to Agia Efimia where we had some great meze with stuffed vine leaves. While the rest of the family had a plate of sardines, I opted for some lovely spicey meatballs with a cold pint of beer.
The morning's visits seem to be the only ones with even a hint of visitor attraction. They even have tickets and souvenir shops. The general approach on the island is to point you in the general direction of a landmark by way of sign post and leave you to it. This was definitely the case with the next attraction which was the Acropolis of Ancient Sami. In addition to being ancient you're really struck here by the destructive force of the famous earthquake. It's difficult to distinguish between the ancient ruins and those of nearby buildings long abandoned. Roads and the countryside is covered in the small debris of shaken hills and rock formations along with the remnants of the homes of two thirds of the islands' former in habitants. The atmosphere is not one of sadness though, merely that this has become part of the landscape.
By the time we had finished clambering over the hillside of the ruins (no entry signs are no match for my parents) we were way too hot and drove to the nearby Antiasmos beach. We were joined in the water by 3 biker dudes who we had seen drive by earlier in the day.
When we got home it would have been all too tempting to go to bed as we were all rather tired but we were resolved to walk up the hill to visit a local restaurant called The Olive Lounge with appropriate green and white paving on the terrace. We bravely decided to sit outside despite the breeze picking up and lightning striking the hills behind us as we ate. Dad concluded that the meal had been very reasonably priced and indeed it was considering the waitress had forgotten to bill us for dessert and he had not given a tip. We decided we would return to settle this debt on a final night. A brisk walk back to the villa left me hot so I spent 5 minutes in the pool before bed.
SATURDAY
For our last day we decided to take it easy and explore the south side of the island near where we were based. Breakfast animal on saturday was a group of small lizards crawling to the pool to cool down or drink.
We drove to to Skala where we visited the remains of a roman villa called Aylos Athanasios. The ruins featured several intricate mosaic floors that had been restored. We continued along the coast line to Poros where we walked along the quayside and up the hill where we watched ferries arrive depart. On our way back through the town we stopped at a bakery to buy biscuits for our work colleagues. We drove back to Skala and managed to get into a restaurant before a brief downpour. After lunch with calamari, meatballs, pasta and beer we went swimming at Skala beach which had quiet waves. The rain returned so we decided to drive back to the villa to relax by the pool, finish our snacks and drink mojitos and more beer, conscious that this would be the last opportunity to bag a respectable tan.
In the evening we returned to the Olive Garden to settle our bill and have a nice final meal. I ordered a Kefalonian meat pie that tasted of cinnamon. The air was so warm and still making it the perfect end to the holiday.
